Time is an illusion and there’s no such thing as a new year, really. Everyday is new start, any day can be a new year for anyone. No matter how paradoxical it may sound, this year my new year’s resolution is to not have a New Year’s resolution. I realize that putting constraints on things like my life never really works.
When there’s too much emphasis on the idea that maybe next year things will be better, that maybe I’ll find the answers, maybe everything will turn out okay. Of course that’s the hope, but when I try to hold myself to everyone’s impossible standards, I crack under pressure (and experience a lot of anxiety). The truth is that the new year is just a new day like any other day. We can’t pretend to predict the future, we can only predict the now and that’s by showing up as we are.
With the next year, I’m saying sayonara to the past because that’s the only thing I can control. I’m saying goodbye to social expectations, to the people who hurt me, to the past versions of me that did the best they could. I realize by changing how I see my life and the world around me, that’s how I change the future. That’s how I change my life.
Letting people put me down for not fulfilling “expectations “ is simply not getting me anywhere. It’s impossible to change who I am, my personality, my DNA. This is the manifesto of the future, not the past. I hope that you, just like me, can finally let your tears dry after enduring pain in the past by understanding that everything is always changing right now all the time .
You don’t need to change everything about who you are, just by letting yourself see the light and taking a deep breath- that’s change. I can only change the future by letting go of the past. I can only grant myself a new year by letting go of last year.
-Luisa Kalina ❤️